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Saturday, February 8, 2014

Baaaaaa-d House Guests

Jack and Star came to live with us a few days ago.

Bruiser named them. He also learned how to tell the difference between a buck and a ewe. 

"Jack has tentacles". Duh.

While I was doing my farm chores, I saw these two lambs being bullied by some nieces (what my husband's family calls yearling lambs... don't ask, I have no clue why they are called that). Pregnant ewes and nieces are usually kept separated, but we had a group ready to be loaded up to take to auction and the ewe was part of the group to go (as she is getting a touch too old). She had the twins before expected, but the nieces wouldn't even let them get close enough to the ewe to let them nurse. They kept nudging them into the ground. Evil nieces. 

I shoo'd the ewe and lambs into a barn to separate them and gave them a couple hours to try to get back in the groove of life, but it was too late. The ewe wouldn't let them nurse anymore. 

So Jack and Star became my house guests... They reside in a chicken brooder in the warmth of my livingroom.

I have to say that lambs make baaaaa-d house guests though.

Reason #1: They need bottlefed every 3 to 4 hours for awhile.

Reason #2: They force you out of your warm, cozy bed by incessantly bleating in the middle of the night because of reason #1.

Reason #3: They bleat just for fun during very serious episodes of Downton Abbey. 

Reason #4: They make my house smell like a barn... I know, I know, what's new? At least I can now point at little lambs and say, "See...." So maybe this is not a reason. But I'm going to count it as one because maybe your house doesn't usually smell like a barn and I don't want you to say that I didn't warn you.

Reason #5: They treat your house like a barn. In every manner. I won't say more... Okay, I will because it gives me an excuse to use my one and only, favorite cuss word... Lambs will $hit on anything in their way. There I said it, I'm at peace. The perk is that this act forces me to never let an article of clothing touch our floors. 

(P.S. Don't tell Farmer this is the reason for my recent Martha Stewart-like vigilance with laundry.. I hate to think of the plan he'd devise to keep it going once lambing season is over). 

Reason #6: They will up and die on you at any moment. Without rhyme or reason. And then leave you to take care of their body! The nerve! 


Even though these lambs leave manners wanting, you can bet I will keep taking in un-owned or orphaned lambs because that's what any respectable farmwife has and will ever do. Every year. No matter how many die on me or how many of them are weathers (ones that must be took to butcher). 

These baaaaaa-d house guests have a way of stealing your heart while peeing on your leg. 


  1. Your writing style cracks me up! Jack and Star are adorable, despite their terrible manners. My grandmother was a very ladylike Southern Baptist woman and you would never hear a curse word come out of her mouth... except sh*t. It was her fave. :)

    1. That makes me feel better! I say because I have up close and personal experience with it, I'm allowed to say it. There is just something about that wonderful word...

  2. Aaaawwwww....... so cute! But, I don't know if I could ever have sheep in my house $hitting all over the floor or even interrupting Downton Abbey - the horror of it all! :)

  3. Oh, they are the name Star....and Jack is just fine, too.